April Fools' 2024: Alter Ego's Creed Login Stories
Translated by Alex; special thanks to Circ (@amoresviesse on twitter/X) for corrections on Part 1!
Login Story 1 - 04/03/2024
Owen:
That must have used up your lifetime supply of luck.
Shylock:
Let’s not make any assumptions, now. Shall we try one more game?
Riquet:
Shylock, Owen.
Shylock:
Oh, welcome, Riquet.
Riquet:
The game on the table… You’re playing mahjong?
Shylock:
Indeed. Lennox and Faust were playing as well, but they just stepped out.
Shylock:
There’s room for a third, if you wish to join?
Riquet:
I’d be happy to, but… Actually, I came to show you what I found just outside the hideout.
Owen:
A letter, and… a comb?
Shylock:
I would understand the intended message if the letter was accompanied by a dead fish, but… I can’t say I’ve ever been sent a comb.
Owen:
Oh, I see. The comb is a secret message.
Owen:
C-O-M-B is an acronym for “cries of massive bloodshed“. It’s a declaration of war. (1)
Owen:
A brutal bloodbath is about to send screams echoing throughout the city.
Shylock & Riquet:
………
Riquet:
……Do you really think so?
Owen:
Huh?
Riquet:
Look closely at the comb. The lacquer is a deep wine red, and there’s a detailed mother-of-pearl butterfly inlaid in it…
Riquet:
Don’t you think it’s perfectly suited to Shylock’s tastes? If it’s really meant as a threat, it sure is a heartfelt choice.
Shylock:
If that’s the case, there is a good chance that it was sent as a token of goodwill for me.
Riquet:
Exactly.
Owen:
Oh, as expected from the little miracle child - what a starry-eyed idea. And what would you do if the comb was coated in poison?
Owen:
Someone left a peach manjuu in front of my house just the other day, and it was also poisoned. It was probably the work of that loathsome woman with the pigtails.(2)
Riquet:
Hey! I’m not a child!
Shylock:
It seems you’ve also received a surprise present lately. Nonetheless, let us read that note before we assume anything, shall we?
Shylock:
“Waiting in the North alley.”
Owen:
…That’s the whole thing?
Shylock:
Yes. This note hardly sheds any light on the gift’s intended meaning.
Riquet:
……Ah! Now that I think about it, Shylock, isn’t there someone who is eager to talk to you every time we run into him on the street?
Riquet:
Once, he pestered you into accepting a red coral necklace, and offered to get you anything else you wanted…
Shylock:
Ah, how shameless…
Riquet:
Maybe that person is the sender?
Shylock:
It’s not impossible. Regardless, since the sender clearly knows the location of our hideout, it would be foolish to ignore this.
Shylock:
We should visit the place in the note.
Owen:
Now? Even though you just played the Nine Gates? (3)
Riquet:
…Huh?
Owen:
The hand this guy just played in our mahjong game. Hasn’t Chloe taught you anything?
Riquet:
He has! It’s just that… isn’t that hand extremely rare and difficult to get?
Riquet:
The rumors say that, if you’re able to play that hand, you’ve just used up your supply of luck for your whole life, and you’ll be killed in an accident soon afterwards…
Shylock:
I’m familiar with the story. But I prefer to think of it like this.
Shylock:
I am lucky enough that everything in my life has aligned to allow me to play this hand.
Shylock:
And this, too, is evidence of my luck - that I happened to receive this mysterious gift just when I was in the company of the most skilled person in our family.
Owen:
Are you talking about me?
Shylock:
You’ve been sighing about being bored lately. Wouldn’t this be the perfect errand to keep you occupied?
Shylock:
For you, Luna Piena’s strongest warrior?
Owen:
…Well, I wouldn’t mind sparring with someone who can put up a fight.
Owen:
But if they end up boring me too, I might have to fight the two of you in their place.
Shylock:
Fufu. In that case, whether this comb is signifying sincerity or hostility… Which outcome is truly the lucky one?
Shylock:
Well, everyone, there’s no sense in keeping our sender waiting. Let us see if our luck can overcome that of the Nine Gates.
Translation Notes
[1] Wordplay. In Japanese, comb = “kushi”, while “ku” and “shi” can be read as “painful death”. I just made an english wordplay that has similar vibes (of owen just making up some edgy shit on the spot) <3
[2] Referring to Noelle, the NPC girl obsessed with Owen in the Valentine's 2023 event.
[3] Nine gates, also known as
chuuren poutou
(九連宝燈), is a point-scoring/winning hand in mahjong. It’s basically made of tiles of all one suit, similar to a combination flush and royal flush in poker. In Japanese mahjong, there’s a real-life superstition surrounding this hand, saying that people who play the Nine Gates will die because it used up their lifetime’s worth of good luck; apparently, many who manage to play the Nine Gates will pray to ward off bad luck afterwards. Conversely, in Chinese mahjong, the hand is actually seen as good luck.
Login Story 2 - 04/05/2024
Heathcliff:
Agh… The reports sure did pile up on my desk while I was away.
Heathcliff:
“There is a person at this casino that I would like to scout as a dealer for us. He has the most darling violet eyes, so please allow me to introduce him.”
Heathcliff:
“I met a red-haired man who apparently knew my mother. He seems to be part of the Ventisca family, but is it okay if we try to make contact with him again soon?”
Heathcliff:
…I hope Rustica, Rutile, and Mitile have been doing alright in my absence. Maybe I should drop by and visit them tonight…
Arthur:
Lord Heathcliff, it’s Arthur.
Heathcliff:
Oh, come in.
Arthur:
Hey, good morning. Well, I guess technically it’s almost noon.
Heathcliff:
Really? It’s that late already?
Arthur:
Yeah. You’ve been holed up in your office all morning.
Arthur:
It must be exhausting, sorting through that backlog of paperwork; I brought some snacks, so why don’t you take a break?
Heathcliff:
Thank you, Arthur. Your cheerful visits always take a load off my shoulders.
Heathcliff:
Besides, you always manage to make the most delicious tea.
Arthur:
It’s my pleasure. It’ll take me a moment to get the sandwiches and tea ready, though.
Arthur:
In the meantime, we can have these snacks that Shino dropped off earlier.
Heathcliff:
Shino did? I wonder what they could be. Maybe he found a new lemon pie shop.
Arthur:
It’s a bit of a unique treat. Here, take a look in this box.
Heathcliff:
……! Is this full of gold coins?
Heathcliff:
…Wait, no… Chocolate coins?
Arthur:
As expected of our executive. You have eyes like a hawk.
Arthur:
These are currently making waves on the streets. At first, they were just an eye-catching sales gimmick, but…
Arthur:
More and more places started to copy the idea, and the level of detail increased dramatically. It seems that cases of fraud, like using the chocolate coins to pad out transaction amounts, are getting more frequent as a result.
Heathcliff:
So I assume similar cases must have been popping up in our businesses, too.
Arthur:
That’s right. It takes some guts to pay the Panthera family in candy coins, doesn’t it? Lord Oz and Shino are on their way over now to investigate.
Arthur:
I’ll be joining them soon, too. If it’s just the two of them, they might end up burning the guilty party to the ground.
Heathcliff:
…Good call. If we’re going to hold our ground in this city, we want to be executing fair judgment on other organizations - not opening ourselves up for excessive retribution.
Heathcliff:
Thank you, Arthur. Your foresight and level-headed perspective always helps me think things through.
Heathcliff:
I heard that you’ve been recommended for a senior management job. If you get it, it’ll be a much more luxurious position.
Arthur:
If it would allow me to do more to help you, I’d be happy to accept. But I don’t have any intention of letting it get in the way of our friendship.
Arthur:
Even if everything else changes, I’ll still be knocking at your door with a cup of tea, a sandwich, and a pastry.
Arthur:
…Well, if I make declarations like that, Shino might get jealous.
Heathcliff:
Ahaha, don’t worry. He’s like a brother to me.
Heathcliff:
Speaking of Shino, have you been teaching him etiquette lately? I keep telling him he’s just fine as he is.
Arthur:
He’s serious about wanting to be your right-hand man. I’ve been teaching him how to prepare tea.
Arthur:
I hope he can show you his progress soon… Here, our tea is ready.
Heathcliff:
It smells fantastic… Earl Grey?
Arthur:
That’s right. Here, drink up before it gets cold.
Login Story 3 - 04/XX/2024
Mithra:
Sigh….. I'm starving.
Cain:
Man, we were so busy searching for the Kirsche Persche that it's already past noon.
Cain:
How about we grab a late lunch? Mithra, do you know any good places nearby?
Cain:
I'd like to hear your recommendations, seeing as you're the family's number one gourmet.
Mithra:
Haah, very well… Do you have any particular likes or dislikes?
Cain:
Nah, not really. I'll eat basically anything as long as it isn't totally bizarre.
Cain:
For example, I'll eat pretty much any kind of wild game… Well, anything but snakes. It's not that the meat tastes bad, but I just hate what it looks like…
Mithra:
Ah, snake meat. Before I became a part of the family, I used to eat it all the time.
Mithra:
But I no longer find it appetizing at all. There are far too many bones, and the meager amount of meat isn't worth the trouble.
Snow:
Cain, Mithra.
Cain:
Boss!
Snow:
Hohoho. It seems you two are chatting up a storm. Have you made any progress on the assignment I entrusted to you?
Cain:
Nothing groundbreaking. We were just taking a break and trying to decide on a place to have lunch.
Cain:
Oh, hey, since you're here, do you wanna join us, Boss?
Mithra:
Yes, I wouldn't mind. Please feel free to pay for our meals, as well.
Snow:
Sigh… Just who do you think you're talking to?
Snow:
I am Don Snow, the most feared man in Vollmond City. Considering you report directly to me, don't you think you should speak with a little more respect?
Cain:
I-I apologize. Urk……
Mithra:
We do as we're told, and we use plenty of formal language. Besides, bosses are supposed to take care of their subordinates, right?
Mithra:
Don't be so stingy over one lunch.
Snow:
Interesting… You've certainly picked up Tiletta's brazen streak.
Snow:
Very well. Since you've offered, I'd enjoy being introduced to a new restaurant in the area. If you do, I may have enough money to treat you two.
Cain:
Ooh, for real? Uh, I mean, are you certain that you don't mind?
Cain:
That would be a big help. I visited a gambling den with a friend last night, and I don't have a lot of cash left.
Snow:
Hohoho. Our Cain is a bit of a lowlife.
Mithra:
Come on, I have an idea. There's a place nearby that specializes in eel dishes.
Cain:
Oh, eel is great!
Mithra:
Someone I met recently took me there. They insisted it would be a good choice for "a gourmet like Mr. Mithra"...
Snow:
Oh, what about that place? The smell of sauce wafting over is truly whetting my appetite.
Cain:
Okay, now I'm getting
really
hungry. Let's quit chatting and just pick somewhere.
Mithra:
That is… not a place I'm familiar with. I suppose it's new.
Snow:
That's a flourishing business sector for you. Let's see, let's see…
Snow:
Ah! This place looks like it serves a delectable roast snake!
Cain & Mithra:
Huh?!
Snow:
Now that I think about it, it's been a while since I've had a chance to eat snake. I'm sure it would be fun to try it again.
Cain:
Boss, s-snake is kind of…
Snow:
Cain.
Cain:
Yes, sir.
Snow:
Orders from your Boss are absolute.
Snow:
Mithra, you'll eat snake, won't you? When you first joined the family, you would eat them with gusto, wouldn't you?
Mithra:
That was a long time ago. Besides, if you want something roasted or something with a rich flavor, the restaurant across the street will…
Snow:
Mithra.
Mithra:
……
Snow:
Who was going to pay for your little meal, again? I'll be choosing the restaurant.
Snow:
Now, let's have ourselves a fun lunch!
Cain & Mithra:
……Yes, Boss.